Life Happens

Dear Blog Readers:

Today’s entry is atypical and very personal. I am sad today. Not for myself and my weight journey but because of some sad news that I received yesterday. As a result of the news, I have spent some significant time contemplating life circumstances and what is really important.

I was the oldest of three children that were born to a young woman in the 60s. I was given up for adoption at birth and never knew her as she passed away when I was six years old. Many years ago, I met two brothers that I never knew. One was like my heart – convicted, loving and a person of great character. The other was adopted at the age of two upon the death of our mother. He was 27 years old when I met him. His life story follows in the following piece of prose.

An Unmarked Life
by Carla Rea DeFlorio

He was born the child of a poor, young woman. When the young woman suddenly died, he was adopted by another family and grew up in another town where he stayed until the age of eight. He was given back to the child care authorities and put into foster care where he went from foster home to foster home. He began to affiliate with people of ill repute and got into trouble with the law.

He spent the greater part of his years looking for acceptance, a sense of belonging and someone he could call his own. At the age of 25, he met a woman and became a father to a little girl but his criminal activities brought him in and out of prison over the course of the years that would follow.

He met members of his birth family and had a hope of connection but he scared them away with each interaction. He did not have the skills to reach out to them. They didn’t have the courage to try harder.

While he was in prison, his daughter’s mother was killed in a car crash and his daughter was given up for adoption without his knowledge. Plagued by guilt and fear of history repeating itself, he was determined to seek her out and reclaim her when he was finally free again. He succeeded in finding her and watched her for a while from afar, surprised to see that she was living a happy life. He opted to leave her in the capable hands of her family – resulting in the only truly unselfish act of his life.

He spent the remainder of his years searching for acceptance and care, but remained in a lonely existence. He eventually married a woman, but it was very late in his life by then. Within a short time, he learned that due to some health circumstances, he would be facing life in a wheelchair within six months.

The burden was too much to bear. He checked into a nearby motel and ended his life – alone. Members of his birth family heard from his wife, who they barely knew. There were no details, no explanations, no remains, just the information of his death and the thoughts of him that would stay with them in the years to come. He was forty-two.

His daughter is still happy and remains in this world. She remains his hope for eternity.

I have not had an easy time this week in my reaffirmation of my journey. I have not gotten into an exercise regime, I haven’t contacted OA yet but I am working at increasing the amount of water that I consume every day. In the past 24 hours, I have once again realized how very fortunate I am. I was given love, care, and everything I needed throughout my life. I never wanted for anything. Of my birthmother’s three children, I was graced with much in my life. I believe that I have an obligation with that grace. My obligation is do all that I can to live.

I have much work to do, but the good news is that I will not begin with overeating – for once! Thank you for indulging me and for reading/listening to my story.
Carla