Out of Sight, Not Out of Mind

My Dear Friends and Blog Readers,

Thank you so much for your e-mails and notes over these past few weeks. I am most honored that you missed me and that you are wondering where I am in my journey. I missed you too. I know that many of you have been concerned that I “fell off the wagon.” I am happy to report that nothing of the kind has occurred. Let me fill you on things over the past month or so.

Anyone who has an addiction can tell you that the most difficult times in dealing with your demons occur when you are faced with adversity, emotional discomfort and stress. If that is true, I was facing a “SuperBowl” of personal issues in the month of August. When faced with uncomfortable issues within my adult life, I have always turned to food. Since embarking on this journey, I knew that I could no longer “stuff” my problems. I would need to face them in a different way. For the first time in my life, I allowed myself to experience pain. I cried when I felt pain, addressed issues in the kindest way I could when someone said something that bothered me, and I did not allow myself to feel guilt over any of those things which would have caused me to eat my frustrations. I knew that if I was going to achieve my personal health goals, I would need to face the issues. So, that’s what I did and do you know what? I didn’t die from it!

For all of my life, I have avoided emotional confrontation or taken it head-on then felt bad about it and ate to soothe myself. I lived in fear of facing issues without my comforter – food. I think that at some level, I really did think that the burden would be too much for me to bear. But it wasn’t. It turns out that I am actually stronger than I thought I was and that I am able to handle things appropriately. I relied on my faith to help me when I was weak. I did deep breathing in times of distress. I cried when I was frustrated. I communicated my issues out loud. I was in charge of the situation and balanced for the first time. I did not contemplate the notion of eating to medicate myself. I used my energy to process through the emotional work that needed to be done. My weight stayed relatively stable; however, my attempts for exercise were minimal, at best.

I am happy to report that the issues have stabilized over the past couple of weeks and so I thought it best to get myself on-track again. I once again met with my nutritionist, Suzanne, who encouraged me to continue my entries on this blog. We both felt comfortable that I am in “the zone” with my food choices and now it was time to get tough on exercise. My first goal is to start by exercising 30 minutes, 3 days per week for a month. After I have achieved some success with 3 times per week, we will increase to 4, and so on. I agreed to let Suzanne know that I’ve exercised on my designated days, so that she knows that I am following through in my commitment. My appointment with Suzanne was on Sept. 7th and I am happy to tell you that I have been successful in my first week in achieving 3 days of exercise. I “danced with the stars” two mornings before work and went for a walk to enjoy the beautiful fall weather this afternoon. Exercise is not really my thing, but I do love dancing and music so I feel that I am reaching happy mediums in these two methods of working out.

So, I’M BAAAAAAAAAAACCCKKKKK! I promise to try to stay in touch with you and keep you posted. Thanks for your support and concern. You are a huge part of this journey and will be part of my success.